“The idea for which this nation stands will not survive if the highest goal free man can set themselves is an amiable mediocrity. Excellence implies striving for the highest standards in every phase of life.” -John W. Gardner
Mediocrity, seems an odd topic to engage with in such a medium, i agree. I’ve had a few post topics rattling around in my head developing for some time now but have been unable to find a way connect them, but strangely enough mediocrity seems to do just such a thing.
Quick side note on mediocrity: personally, I believe mediocrity is one of the biggest threats and currently an epidemic in our society today. Moreso than mediocrity itself, but the acceptance of mediocrity in the hearts and minds of the masses. Accepting mediocrity allows those to stop growing as people. They become stagnant, when once an individual would take part in a movement be it a strike, march, or general action in regards to their well-being has been overtaken by a new wave of “good enough” where a couple swift clicks of a mouse to share or retweet a message regarding a movement that we agree with. Now don’t get me wrong, social media as a platform for social justice/injustice can be a very powerful tool, yet with many potentially powerful things, in American society specifically they have become so marginalized with they’re everyday uses to waste time and allow oneself to feel like they did something rather than actually doing it.
That being said, I have spent the last two years of my life striving for mediocrity. Yes. STRIVING for mediocrity. The very thing I just denounced and would rid this world of before anything else(when you think about it the removal of mediocrity would in turn empower us to solve almost all other social issues). At the risk of getting too off topic with past emotions, the moment I realized that I would give anything to be something that I despise so much because even THAT terrible thing would be better than the mental and emotional abyss I was lost in.
One of the biggest hurdles to jump when beginning my personal battle was being able to find a goal that was both attainable and beneficial. Obviously my original goal was simple, no longer be depressed, get back to “normal” etc. And magically I only managed to spiral further downwards. This goal was not attainable starting out. That’s when the realization happened, not only is mediocrity only about halfway to being ahead of the game, but due to my sincerely low opinion of the concept it seemed extraordinarily attainable. Thus began my journey to attain mediocrity.
I never would have dreamed it would take 2 years to reach this point, as mediocrity seemed like such a joke, but then again that was before I was being objective and honest with myself about where I truly was. Now that I’ve been at my end-goal of mediocrity for a few months now, I’ve taken some time to work some things out in relation to where i’m going and where I’ve been. The most shocking thing i’ve come to know is that I never had surpassed Mediocrity in my life, even prior to the depression. Depending on how well you knew me prior and how you interpret mediocrity this may surprise you, or even anger you. Refer back to the quotation I began with, I have never once in my entire life pursued the highest standards in ANY phase of my life. I was unfortunately blessed with being pretty good at everything I did without ever really needing to practice or try. This is one of the instances where I usually get “what do you even have to be depressed about?” Which in all honestly looking back I feel like this is one of the reasons I fell so fast, I never had to learn how to struggle or lose. Then I also was unaware as to what it felt to like to be struggling or to lose, so by the time I realized what was happening it was far too late. However this is also what makes this current transition so meaningful, in my reality this is a great unknown.
This is a major turning point for me, as i’ve finished my mediocrity phase, and will be pursuing levels beyond that which have never even been attempted by myself before. Even though I am nowhere near ready for that. It still takes roughly 60% of my bodily energy just to get up and get on with my day, just to go through the motions with each task I used to take for granted, I now have to pump myself up to get enough energy to do simple things like go to class and walk my dog. When I get home from grocery shopping I am utterly exhausted. But I keep trudging onwards, because quite simply there is no other option. I have to force myself to eat multiple full meals a day, because I have zero spare energy to lose. One missed meal can set me back an entire week in progress. It was not easy getting to this point, and it will only get more difficult from here. A year and a half ago I would’ve just stopped because I knew i would most likely fail and it wouldn’t be worth the energy lost trying. Not now, the goal of mediocrity has one more advantage, I am equally proud of the progress i’ve made and disgusted with being mediocre, which provides much needed determination to continue on and not settle. I am well aware that self-disgust is not a very healthy form of motivation, but when facing insurmountable odds, you become more lenient with the means that justify the ends.
Never Settle.
Embracing the Struggle 