Very rarely will you hear me apologize for my words or actions. Not because I have never said or done anything that I shouldn’t have, but simply because in that moment in time I believed it to be the right thing to do. I will apologize for not taking into consideration how something may impact you, or for being insensitive, or for being too inarticulate to get my point across without adding insult. In my opinion this is how everyone should view this idea, too many people mindlessly apologize for their actions, without ever really A. actually feeling sorry for what they did and B. stopping at the apology and not taking steps to prevent said actions from happening again. In my experience most things can be avoided a second time by being mindful of the situation in which they occurred. Example. You and you’re significant other get into an argument and you call the other one a foul and insulting name. This can be quite hurtful. However, a normal response would be to immediately respond with an apology and hope they can move past it. Whereas an improved response would be to realize they are negative emotions you are harboring that lead to such an outburst that need to be addressed, as well noting that your volatile emotional state induced by the argument caused a poor decision in how to vocalize these feelings. Imagine how much better the aftermath would go if instead of just saying “I’m sorry for calling you a bitch” you responded with an apology for allowing yourself to get caught up in the moment, and mention that there are some behaviors that she is engaging in that have been bothering you, and you’d like to work on communicating said emotions more so they don’t get hyperbolized during a heated emotional argument. Yes, she’ll still be upset you called her a bitch. However showing you understand why it happened and expressing a desire to prevent it goes a lot further than a simple I shouldn’t have said that.
That was quite the lengthy introduction, however the concepts are relevant. I have gotten a decent amount and backlash over some ideas that I’ve presented thus far, most noticeably my words on religion in my last post, and my words regarding antidepressants in my first few posts. I’d like to start off by saying i’m sorry if anyone has been offended. That was not my intention, however it appears that the majority who people who have expressed offense seem to have either misinterpreted my words, or has inferred conclusions about my meaning beyond what I have said. I guess I’ll start with the Anti-depressant position.
It appears that those who have either seen my decision to not take any anti-depressants, or read the paper I had written and linked on a previous post, have come to the conclusion that I do not believe in, or look down upon the usage of anti-depressants. This is simply not true. I can see how you came to this conclusion though, as my words in the paper written were with quite a negative connotation, and even laced with anger. However, this anger and negativity was not directed towards the medication. It was/is directed towards societies belief that such pills are a cure-all for depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. It simply is not. Imagine going to the doctor for flu-like symptoms, and having him hand you a prescription and inform you have to take it every day, for the rest of your life, and if you feel like you don’t need it anymore and stop taking it, there’s a 67% chance you will not only get sick again, but quite possibly it will be more intense than before, and the side effects can often be far worse than your initial conditions. Then send you on your way. That would be unacceptable. Ludicrous. You would never see that sham of a physician again, probably tell all your friends about how awful he was, and start a negative social media campaign against him until he was disbarred. Yet that’s exactly what is being done for those with mental issues. Anti-depressants can be very powerful TOOLS in the fight against depression, but not a complete battle plan. Sorry but it has helped my mentality and efficacy to view my overall happiness as a war with depression, and each day a battle. It helps break down my progress by each day, leading to greater overall results without being crushingly overwhelmed by the weight of my end goal. In recap- not only do i have no problem with the use of medications, more often than not I encourage them as a tool to be utilized. As long as other steps are being taken to ensure long term quality of life and they aren’t being solely relied upon for happiness.
Next up is religion. Apparently I gave the impression that I believe that all religious peoples are selfish fools. To come to this conclusion one must have severely misunderstood what I was saying, or only read what they wanted to read because they enjoy picking fights on the internet instead of living a real, tangible life. Regardless, I will clarify. I do not necessarily have a problem with religion or spirituality. I often disagree with organized religion because I believe it puts too many restraints on the divine concept, and thus distracts from the truth. However, many good things come of organized religion, such as an ideal system teaching individuals to treat others with dignity and respect, and a certain amount of morality one should have by striving to live like [insert preferred religious icon here]. Obviously there are extremist sects in all major religions, from Islam to Christianity to Judaism and many others I’m sure that i’m not personally educated on. What I do disagree with, is “religious” individuals or groups who do bad things and hide behind their respective books of God for protection and explanation, as well as the mass hypocrisy practiced by the masses, often starting at the top.(child molestation in the catholic church, anyone?) But even beyond this, the concept of a God, or Gods in general was created/discovered for explanation of the unknown, to pay homage to the fact that there are things going on out there that we humans do not understand. I believe this is a wonderful thing. However our egotistical nature in humans has developed to create religions that do little more than divide us as people by telling us one group is right and the other is wrong, that these God like figures are humanoid and we are so blessed to have been made in his image. This humbling of the unknown has faded, and has been replaced with egocentric stories about how great humans are. That, to me, is sickening. All in all, it comes down to how you believe, and how you use it.
If you ask me if I believe in God, I will probably respond with no. Because I don’t believe in the all powerful humanoid projection that you refer to God as. But, I do believe. I believe in the unknown. I believe in the perspective provided by the vastness of the unknown. I believe that there are far more powerful things at work in the universe than we have discovered, not because we haven’t found it yet, but because we haven’t even invented the proper tools TO discover it yet. I believe that the more we discover and think we know, the greater the unknown actually becomes. I believe in the mathematics of probability. I believe that every individual action we take regardless of how small, directly impacts the rest of our lives and potential, alternate lives, in an infinite number of incomprehensible way. Just because I do not believe in an all powerful man in the sky does NOT mean that I do not believe. That I do not have faith. That I am a lost soul. Quite honestly I think I have stronger faith and belief than those of traditional religion. It is easy to believe in something that is similar, that is easy to relate to, that is of the same belief system as we are taught as children. Much more difficult is it to be brought up with such beliefs, engage in personal meditation and soul searching, to come to your beliefs on your own, not because someone told you to, but because it is what comes to you. This experience is more divine than anything I had every experienced in Church. More powerful than any gospel message. The speck of dust we are in the infinity of the universe is much more motivation to appreciate what you have and treat others with respect than any scripture ever was. But most importantly, it is hard to believe in something that is utterly incomprehensible. I know that I have zero understanding of the nature of the universe, and probably never will. And that’s what makes it so divine. Finding comfort in discomfort. Finding reason where there is none.
Embracing the Struggle 